Catch Me If You Can!
by MadAsAHatter27
Summary: Find out what happens when the Mad Hatter and the Knave of Hearts play hide-and-seek together!


Catch Me If You Can

Okay, this is my first fanfic so I'm a little nervous about it... It took me awhile to write it but here goes!

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"Hatter!" Ilsovic Stayne called, galloping through the Wonderlandian forest on the back of his horse. The Knave of Hearts looked around. Once again, the Mad Hatter was nowhere to be found. "Where is he? I've looked all over this blasted country and I haven't even seen him yet!" Stayne growled, gripping the horse's reins tight in his hands. After a moment, he sighed and slumped, recalling the reason he had started this foolishness.

_"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Mad Hatter," Stayne smirked as he sauntered up to the tea table. "Hello, Stayne," Tarrant replied with a toothy smile. "All alone? But where are your insane companions?" The Knave of Hearts taunted. The orange-haired man didn't seem to be bothered by his mocking, however. "Away," he answered simply, and Stayne began to laugh. "Would you like to play a game?" The ebony-haired man stopped chuckling and stared. Tarrant looked up at him innocently, tea cup resting on the table. "You're serious?" "Of course! We could even play hide-and-seek!" Hatter cried excitedly, clapping his hands. "Why in all of Wonderland would I play a game, let alone one as foolish as hide-and-seek, with you of all people?" the Knave snorted. "Are you afraid of losing, Stayne?" Tarrant asked innocently, batting his lashes. "Me? Lose? As if! I'm the Knave of Hearts, I guarantee I could beat you in a game as simple as hide-and-seek," Stayne scoffed. Tarrant stood and pushed in his chair, then leaned in close to Stayne. "Not only can I Flutterwacken with the best of them, but I am the undefeated hide and seeker, and I quite enjoy a challenge," he breathed in Stayne's ear. "A challenge it is, then. But perhaps we should make it a bit more... Interesting," the black-haired man suggested, and the Mad Hatter raised a bright orange brow. "Oh? And how so?" "Loser has to do whatever the winner wants." "So, so predictable, but I suppose it will work." Tarrant suddenly grinned and ran away. "Catch me if you can!" he chirped cheerfully, and Stayne counted to twenty, then leapt back onto his horse and took off in pursuit of the maniac._

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_Stayne stopped his horse to allow it a break and reflected on his chase so far. He had gone in the direction that the Hatter had run in, but he couldn't find him yet. He sat down on the ground and thought about where to look. He had already covered the forest, only finding that silly rabbit and an enormous butterfly that kept swooping over his head for no particular reason. Now he was forced to reconsider. "Where would he hide? Perhaps in the White Queen's Castle... But it would be quite risky for me to go there all alone... I could check near the Red Queen's Castle, but I doubt he'd go there. Maybe he's back at that enormous tree he calls a home... He probably forgot about our little game, went back home to get a cup of tea..." Smirking, Stayne mounted his steed once again and dashed away, back in the same direction he had come._

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_"Are you there, Hatter?" the Knave of Hearts called mockingly, staring up at the tree. The window looked dark and empty, but this did not daunt the scarred man. Snatching a key off the table, he stalked to the tree and unlocked the door. He ran up the stairs as fast as he could, scrambling to the room with the door labeled "HATTER'S ROOM". Flinging the door open, the Knave of Hearts shouted, "I have found you! Therefore, I win the-" he stopped. The brightly colored room belonging to the eccentric orange-haired room was empty. Even the windows were covered by dark purple curtains which clashed horribly with the bright orange of the walls. Growling, Stayne turned sharply on his heel and stomped back outside. "I'll find you, Hatter," he vowed angrily, planning to visit the caterpillar's hidey-hole next._

_"The Knave of Hearts? What a... surprise," Absolem blew smoke in Stayne's face. Coughing, the ebony-haired man asked, "Have you seen the Mad Hatter?" "Possibly..." the caterpillar took another breath of smoke, looking down at the man with very little, if any, interest. "Is that a yes or a no?" Stayne asked, trying to rein in his impatience. "Neither, and both." Stayne glared. Stupid bug. He turned on his heel and stormed away.'_

_Stayne pressed on in his epic game of hide-and-seek, riding to the White Queen's castle. The gates opened as he came near, and, leaving his horse tied to the gate outside, began to walk up to the castle. The White Queen was lying near her gardens, playing with a small, dark puppy. Grimacing, Stayne came closer. The Queen immediately stood and asked, "And what does my sister want?" Her voice was hard and cold. "Nothing. I merely came to inquire if the Hatter was here or not," Stayne replied, forcing a smile that did not reach his eyes. Mirana looked worried at this, asking, "Why do you wish to know?" "We're..." Stayne grimaced, obviously uncomfortable. "We're playing a game." Relief shone through the Queen's face, followed by compressed laughter. "He is not here, no," she managed, and the Knave of Hearts nodded, turning on his heel and walking away as quickly as possible. "Heh..." The White Queen began to laugh, her giggles echoing through the courtyard as Stayne broke into a run.'_

_"How... humiliating," Stayne growled to himself as he traveled on. The simple game had quickly spiraled out of control; he was practically interrogating the Hatter's acquaintances to find out the man's location, and so far he had gotten nowhere. "Mad Hatter!" he called, riding and looking behind trees and bushes. "I doubt you'll find him there," a smooth, low voice with a dreamlike quality announced, and Stayne turned quickly. A large cat was floating in midair, its large emerald eyes and wide grin rather startling. "Do you know where he is?" Crazed and frantic, the Knave of Hearts grabbed the cat by the front of its furry neck. The Cat disappeared, then reappeared behind Stayne. "He could be with the White Queen," the cat suggested. "I've looked there," Stayne snapped. "Then I have no more ideas." The Cat began to fade, lighter and lighter and lighter until he was almost gone and all that remained was that wide smile but then, with a twitch, disappeared. Frustrated, Stayne pounded his fist into his other hand. He had to find the Hatter so that he could win. He was Ilsovic Stayne; he could not lose to Tarrant Hightopp. After looking around one last time, the Knave of Hearts accepted that Tarrant wasn't there. But where was he?'_

_Stayne was standing in the Wonderlandian desert. Honestly, he had had no clue that Wonderland even _had_ a desert, but here he was now. He pulled a telescope out of his belt and looked around. No sign of life whatsoever. "I found my way in... Now how to find my way back out?" the Knave muttered to himself. He wiped his sweaty forehead. It was hot. It was extremely hot. It was burning hot, probably 1,000 degrees, and he was going to burn- "Get ahold of yourself," Stayne ordered himself sharply, then contemplated. It really was hot, though. Way too hot for armor. It wouldn't hurt to take it off, would it? Though it took awhile, Stayne was finally free, revealing his long-sleeved black shirt and black pants. Rolling up his sleeves, the Knave of Hearts grabbed his armor and strapped it to his horse, then rested his head on the animal's neck. He was tired. As he led his horse through the desert, the scarred man clung to the scarce hope that he would find the Hatter on his way back.'_

_

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_Exhausted, Stayne slipped off of his stallion and staggered into his home. He had searched everywhere for the Hatter and had found him nowhere. He had even spoken to almost all of the madman's friends, but they either claimed they had not seen the man or simply cackled insanely. Pouring sand out of his boots, the Knave opened the door and collapsed into his living room chair, closing his eyes. "Welcome home." Stayne's eyes flew open. The Mad Hatter sat on the couch, knitting a green sweater. "You lose," the green-haired man murmured. "What- But how-" "I've won, once again!" Tarrant crowed triumphantly. Stayne snarled and glared at the man, closing his eyes again. He was startled when he felt weight on his legs. Tarrant sat on his lap, smiling serenely. "What in the Queen's Court are you doing?" the ebony-haired man demanded. "I'm just reaping my reward, Stayne," Tarrant explained, and before the other man could say a word, he felt warm lips on his. Startled, he was tempted to pull away, but stayed because- well, dammit, it felt _good_. He kissed back, pressing his hands to the madman's back, and the other ran his fingers through Stayne's silky black hair. Finally, pulling away for breath, they gazed at each other. "May I make a suggestion?" Tarrant finally asked, voice quivery and breathless. "What is it?" Stayne asked, and the Hatter's swollen lips curved into a smile. "I suggest that the loser receive a consolation prize of his choice." "I rather like that suggestion," Stayne grinned.

Tarrant and Stayne sat together on Stayne's couch, holding hands and kissing often. "I hope you've learned your lesson, Stayne," Hatter said, resting his head on the other man's neck. "Oh, I have," the Knave of Hearts chuckled as he ran his fingers through Tarrant's orange hair. "I've learned not to challenge you to a game of hide-and-seek."

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Yes I finished! So please review, I'd like to hear what you think, just please no super-harsh words! Constructive criticism will be appreciated!


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